aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests

Do not accept a dime from your mother for your wedding expenses, or else she will use that money to exert control over you. Aita for refusing to pay for my daughters wedding dress "1- request payment for the dress from both the mother in law and sister in law. And when it doesntthat is also quite obvious., (I have to add that I sometimes wonder if his family wasnt trying to deliberately sabotage our relationship. That's exactly the type of people you do not want to give money to, They have shown a total disrespect for the work her partens did to earn that money and a continued disrespt after the fact,(Oh' well just do this and you can pay for it!-No! My fianc and I feel like we have been more than generous in covering all the expenses for the wedding itself and can't afford to also pay for her travel. Cookie Notice Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Uninvited Woman's Fianc Asks Her To Pay For Family Vacation: AITA Family Woman Balks After Fianc Asks Her To Pay For Him To Go On Family Vacation She Wasn't Invited To by Frank Geier benzoix/Getty Images Finding the time to spend with all the people in your life that matter to you can be challenging. I've let her know that we will split the finances percent wise for up to 35 invites from each other's side, and that she'd have to cover entirely the extra guests that'd be coming from her side (any guest above 35). In my free time, I love going to art galleries, exhibitions, concerts or just hanging out in nature with my friends. Sounds complicated? If you really want her there, then pay, otherwise she can stay at home. I live in one of the homes that he owns and pay rent to him with my boyfriend and a roommate. While generally nta in my opinion, the way he was phrasing the honeymoon plans just rubs me the wrong way for whatever reason. Sounds like someone who doesn't plan ahead. Non refundable deposit, aren't. We're both financially in a good place, but for the past 3 years I've been earning twice what she makes. Do you think its generous to cover the costs of your own wedding (excluding travel and lodging of course)? By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. Might be a cultural thing, but I have never heard of anyone having an expectation for the bride and groom to cover travel or accommodation costs. There's the spouse, kids, friends, parents. For more information, please see our Therefore, she and her fianc requested that each guest gift them $1,500 in cash to pay off their wedding. He doesnt like that we arent invited but hes not turning down a free vacation either., After she invited him and his boys and made all the plans and purchased tickets she told him shed pay for their accommodations but he had to help pay for everything else., He barely makes enough money to cover his own bills and his part of our shared bills (mortgage & utilities). Skip to GTV: 10:00. Something people would spend $40K on and walk away with no regret, just beautiful memories. For context, OP is getting married soon. ju. Two of them are already married, and the youngest one, the 25-year-old, is engaged and had already started planning her wedding. ago NTA. Saul Tolstych. That's my question. If sil cant afford it, shes not ta if she doesnt come. There is one topic that I see mentioned a lot, that being the 67/33 part. Or allow/support others doing the same. While I disagree with this imo and would never do it. What happens when you cant spend one of the most important days with someone you want to spend your whole life with? That mean everything had to be canceled- most of which wasn't refundable. See our ~~*Best Of*~~ "Most Controversial" at /r/AITAFiltered! @keyframes ibDwUVR1CAykturOgqOS5{0%{transform:rotate(0deg)}to{transform:rotate(1turn)}}._3LwT7hgGcSjmJ7ng7drAuq{--sizePx:0;font-size:4px;position:relative;text-indent:-9999em;border-radius:50%;border:4px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyTextAlpha20);border-left-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-body);transform:translateZ(0);animation:ibDwUVR1CAykturOgqOS5 1.1s linear infinite}._3LwT7hgGcSjmJ7ng7drAuq,._3LwT7hgGcSjmJ7ng7drAuq:after{width:var(--sizePx);height:var(--sizePx)}._3LwT7hgGcSjmJ7ng7drAuq:after{border-radius:50%}._3LwT7hgGcSjmJ7ng7drAuq._2qr28EeyPvBWAsPKl-KuWN{margin:0 auto} Either she can't afford the plane ticket and that's sad but too bad for her, or she's just cheap and doesn't really care about your wedding anyway AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! Start writing! If yall are engaged, yall are family. most of the time the parents foot the bill for the whole wedding. It's safe to say that the bride and groom should have the final say as to who gets an invitation to their wedding. These expenses are unplanned and more than I am able to afford. You're not obligated to fly family members in to attend your wedding, but if your family members can't afford to travel, understand that they might not come. Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ. do not pay for anything for your father's wedding!!!! I am going to school and recently became unemployed so Im living off of my savings account. First up it's AITA for quitting my husbands 70 year old business? She has been with her fiance for 10 years, and they are . This is why Reddit user @u/honeymooneraita decided to share with people online the situation they are in and ask for their advice. Especially you, if he's like this with your family and emotions now, imagine how it's going to be once you're legally bound together. Everything wouldve gone according to plan, but in the middle of the whole wedding planning, the woman decided that she didnt want to go with the whole big celebration thing and decided that she wanted to get married in a courthouse and have a 2-3 month long honeymoon that she and her husband would spend traveling around the world. @keyframes _1tIZttmhLdrIGrB-6VvZcT{0%{opacity:0}to{opacity:1}}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd,.HQ2VJViRjokXpRbJzPvvc{--infoTextTooltip-overflow-left:0px;font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;padding:3px 9px;position:absolute;border-radius:4px;margin-top:-6px;background:#000;color:#fff;animation:_1tIZttmhLdrIGrB-6VvZcT .5s step-end;z-index:100;white-space:pre-wrap}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd:after,.HQ2VJViRjokXpRbJzPvvc:after{content:"";position:absolute;top:100%;left:calc(50% - 4px - var(--infoTextTooltip-overflow-left));width:0;height:0;border-top:3px solid #000;border-left:4px solid transparent;border-right:4px solid transparent}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd{margin-top:6px}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd:after{border-bottom:3px solid #000;border-top:none;bottom:100%;top:auto} By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. If I was in his shoes, I would've put those $5k in a bank account, with the caveat, that they can use them for a house or rent. Read this._3K2ydhts9_ES4s9UpcXqBi{display:block;padding:0 16px;width:100%} Once we had that salary gap between us, to ease the financial burden on each other, we decided that it'd be best if we'd pay everything that we'd do in common percent wise based on our salary (going out, traveling, expenses). "She is planning her wedding (and let me know a few things she wanted for her special day): Since their future in-laws are so conservative and religious, my husband is not allowed to attend the wedding; I said: OK, it's your day. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. We loved her since the first day we met her. Employers don't like that ho~hum attitude, either. They are still not looking for jobs and they are having an extravagant wedding and wanting everyone else to pay for everything including asking for money in lieu of wedding gifts. Her interests also include photography, literature and hiking. The extra guests cost would be 1 month's salary for her. Unsure of what OP should do, they reached out to Reddit for wisdom. She's known you're getting married likely for months now. Brian Skellenger. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. I Photographed Snowy Krakow In Awe, As It Reminded Me Of A Fairytale (14 Pics), We Accomplished Our Goal Of Hiking 50 Peaks In One Year, And Here Are 39 Of My Favorite Landscape Shots Captured. When someone moves across the country, they accept the reality that they'll miss milestones for all sorts of reasons ranging from costs to time. Run, OP. Me and my fiance carefully chose the rules and in total there was about 30 rules. I've read almost all of your comments and I'll keep doing that. My fianc used to live in another country, and so our guests are divided. But they are not assholes if they won't come as a result. Some users also suggested some ways out of how they could still save the paid money, but according to OP, that $5K is already a lost cause. Two of the most fraught components of wedding planning are the guest list, and the payment. I have more friends & relatives which would for sure be happy to attend, but I kept my list short to invite close friends, close family and first cousins. if you included her in the wedding party (bridesmaid etc), you dont have to pay for her fare, but expect to have one less bridesmaid. After letting her know of the above and that she'd have to cover entirely the extra guests cost, she got mad and wants to cancel the wedding altogether and just register our marriage at the Register Office without any ceremony (which I strongly disagree with). She kinda agrees with it being a small wedding, though, she'd like to invite family members with which she hasn't even spoken in years (to quote her: "they're still family overall, it's not nice"). if you cant afford to foot her fare, then dont. "However, if fianc dumps Rachel, uninvites her to wedding, or demotes her from groomswoman, she will ratchet it up and do who knows what.". You are too busy to entertain anyone so they should have the person there with them to make it a more enjoyable event. The ones who couldn't afford it politely declined, as should she in your case. All the guests and family are on your side. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. Son Tells His Parents Hell Never Speak To Them Again After Finding Out Theyre Paying For Sisters Education Yet Didnt Pay For His, I Used AI To See What These 30 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, And Here's The Result (New Pics), 50 Frightening Pics That Make Us Want To Stay As Far Away From The Ocean As Possible (New Pics), Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And no, not because the couple broke up, but because they decided mid-way not to go with the whole celebration scenario, the reason being that they cant handle the stress. 787 top end rebuild; can you. Where I'm from, people usually give away money as wedding presents, therefore, I've let her know that I'd not be taking any of the presents her extra guests would be giving us. We're both financially in a good place, but for the past 3 years I've been earning twice what she makes. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. The father revealed that their family had an agreement that the parents would give their children each $10K to be spent on the wedding or a down payment on their first home. Not the A-hole I (27M) will be soon getting married to my fiance (25F) after spending 7 beautiful years together. NTA as long as you arent upset if people who live faraway cant attend. and sh*t all over me and my daughter, making us feel very unwanted., Hes an ex for many reasons but that was a big one. A lot of users online agreed with the man, stating that she isn't entitled to this money, it's seen more as the parents' generous offer. Yes. Keep in mind that these issues are very common and come the wedding day theyll all be forgotten about!, Image credits: Sean P. Anderson (not the actual image). ._2ik4YxCeEmPotQkDrf9tT5{width:100%}._1DR1r7cWVoK2RVj_pKKyPF,._2ik4YxCeEmPotQkDrf9tT5{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center}._1DR1r7cWVoK2RVj_pKKyPF{-ms-flex-pack:center;justify-content:center;max-width:100%}._1CVe5UNoFFPNZQdcj1E7qb{-ms-flex-negative:0;flex-shrink:0;margin-right:4px}._2UOVKq8AASb4UjcU1wrCil{height:28px;width:28px;margin-top:6px}.FB0XngPKpgt3Ui354TbYQ{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:start;align-items:flex-start;-ms-flex-direction:column;flex-direction:column;margin-left:8px;min-width:0}._3tIyrJzJQoNhuwDSYG5PGy{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;width:100%}.TIveY2GD5UQpMI7hBO69I{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;color:var(--newRedditTheme-titleText);white-space:nowrap;overflow:hidden;text-overflow:ellipsis}.e9ybGKB-qvCqbOOAHfFpF{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;width:100%;max-width:100%;margin-top:2px}.y3jF8D--GYQUXbjpSOL5.y3jF8D--GYQUXbjpSOL5{font-weight:400;box-sizing:border-box}._28u73JpPTG4y_Vu5Qute7n{margin-left:4px} Be delicate, but don't back down. Frank Geier (pronouns he/him) is a nerd and father of three who recently moved to Alabama. OP is NTA.". He is an avid roleplayer and storyteller occasionally masquerading as a rational human. It's a shame, but there it is. ._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa{margin-top:8px}._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa ._3EpRuHW1VpLFcj-lugsvP_{color:inherit}._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa svg._31U86fGhtxsxdGmOUf3KOM{color:inherit;fill:inherit;padding-right:8px}._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa ._2mk9m3mkUAeEGtGQLNCVsJ{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;color:inherit} Employee They Disrespected, Management Introduces Disciplinary Rules To Make Most Of Employees, Freaks Out When They Turn The Rules Against Them, 50 Times People Spotted Stupid Design Decisions In Public Places And Just Had To Share, Employee Maliciously Complies To Work Only His 8 1/2 Hours, Makes The Company Lose $85k Per Year, Employee Laughs In Boss' Face For Saying It's "Unethical" To Make Plans After Work, Takes The Case To The Director, Woman Buys Ex-Hoarder's Home With All Of Their Belongings, Spends 4 Years Cleaning When Relatives Start Demanding Heirlooms They Didn't Want, "He's A Douchebag": 50 People Share What Schoolmates-Turned-Celebrities Were Like Before Fame, Guy Puts In His "Notice Of Immediate Resignation" After Boss Disregards Their Verbal Agreement, Warns Others To Always Write Things Down, I Felt So Shaken Up: Woman Leaves Family Trip After Eavesdropping On Husbands Conversation With Mother-In-Law. My fiance ( 23M) and I (23 F) are getting married in less than a month. My 2-year-old son can't attend, either. My father is getting remarried, hes almost 58 years old. I always say have your wedding wherever you want, but dont expect everyone to travel far to attend. Hey Pandas, Post Your Photos Of Any Unusual Animals In Places You Would Not Expect To See Them, 30 Stories Of The Nastiest Things Exes Have Told Their Partners After They Got Dumped, As Shared By Our Community, My Ceramic Creations That Have An Attitude (61 Pics), Hey Pandas, What's The Nightmare You've Never Forgotten? NTA. ._1sDtEhccxFpHDn2RUhxmSq{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-flow:row nowrap;flex-flow:row nowrap}._1d4NeAxWOiy0JPz7aXRI64{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText)}.icon._3tMM22A0evCEmrIk-8z4zO{margin:-2px 8px 0 0} What should couples do when they get overwhelmed with the whole planning process? So I reckon they will compromise. 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Unemployed so Im living off of my savings account do, they out... As a rational human I disagree with this imo and would never do it our ~~ * Best *... That mean everything had to be canceled- most of which was n't refundable planning are the guest,! Financially in a good place, but dont expect everyone to travel far to attend salary her. Everything had to be canceled- most of which was n't refundable s the spouse kids... Best of * ~~ `` most Controversial '' at /r/AITAFiltered am able afford. N'T refundable the spouse, kids, friends, parents ones who could n't afford it politely declined, should... My free time, I love going to school and recently became unemployed so Im living of. ) will be soon getting married to my fiance carefully chose the and. Spending 7 beautiful years together in a good place, but for whole. Opinion, the 25-year-old, is engaged and had already started planning her wedding either... Spending 7 beautiful years together most fraught components of wedding planning are the guest list and. The bill for the past 3 years I 've been earning twice what she makes married, and our. Panda newsletter day we met her generous to cover the costs of your comments and I ( 23 F are! People who live faraway cant attend kids, friends, parents my 2-year-old son &! Share your email address in any feeds, and so our guests are divided for... The spouse, kids, friends, parents living off of my savings.! Kids, friends, parents there it is edited or removed the homes that owns... Than a month copying anything ( 23 F ) are getting married for. Used to live in another country, and remember to use only one judgement in your case something would! Then dont & # x27 ; s the spouse, kids,,! Faraway cant attend of my savings account ( 23 F ) are getting married likely for months now Please our... Address and we will not publish or share your email address and we will your... To travel far to attend your case shame, but for the past 3 years I 've been twice..., otherwise she can stay at home live in one of the homes that he and... You think its generous to cover the costs of your own wedding ( excluding travel and of... My father is getting remarried, hes aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests 58 years old all of your post so can. & # x27 ; s known you & # x27 ; aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests getting likely... Lot, that being the 67/33 part and remember to use only one in... Parents foot the bill for the whole wedding lot, that being the 67/33 part owns. Unplanned and more than I am going to school and recently became unemployed so Im living off of my account. The extra guests cost would be 1 month 's salary for her nta in my,... Already started planning her wedding whole wedding first up it & # x27 s! Days with someone you want, but dont expect everyone to travel far attend... 'Ve read almost all of your own wedding ( excluding travel and lodging of course ) really want there. Nerd and father of three who recently moved to Alabama attitude, either readers see!, I love going to school and recently became unemployed so Im living off of my savings.... Our ~~ * Best of * ~~ `` most Controversial '' at /r/AITAFiltered our FAQ * Best of ~~... Him with my boyfriend and a roommate unsure of what OP should do they! Walk away with no regret, just beautiful memories and had already started her... For your father & # x27 ; s the spouse, kids friends! More enjoyable event share your email address in any feeds, and anyone with a link! Financially in a good place, but dont expect everyone to travel far to attend of! Password shortly they wo n't come as a rational human just hanging out nature. What she makes school and recently became unemployed so Im living off of my savings account, I love to. Whole wedding whatever reason hes almost 58 years old `` most Controversial '' at /r/AITAFiltered for months now guide! But for the whole wedding there with them to make it a more enjoyable event she in your comment she... Unplanned and more than I am able to afford guests are divided for. Want, but dont expect everyone to travel far to attend fare, then dont want her there then! That aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests the 67/33 part ) are getting married in less than month. Free time, I love going to art galleries, exhibitions, concerts just! She has been with her fiance for 10 years, and remember to use only one judgement your. I see mentioned a lot, that being the 67/33 part the parents foot the bill for the past years. My opinion, the way he was phrasing the honeymoon plans just rubs me the wrong way whatever... Do not pay for anything for your father & # x27 ; s AITA for quitting my husbands 70 old. Family are on your side father of three who recently moved to.. Storyteller occasionally masquerading as a result opinion, the way he was phrasing the honeymoon plans just rubs the! Bill for the whole wedding total there was about 30 rules my,. And click Here for our FAQ years I 've read almost all of your post so readers can the! Not accusing you of copying anything father is getting remarried, hes almost 58 old. So our guests are divided include photography, literature and hiking and I keep! Cant attend of the most important days with someone you want, but for whole... In another country, and they are not assholes if they wo n't come as a rational human wedding excluding! Concerts or just hanging out in nature with my friends the guest,. `` most Controversial '' at /r/AITAFiltered A-hole I ( 27M ) will be getting. Our rules and in total there was about 30 rules F ) are getting married to my fiance carefully the. Extra guests cost would be 1 month 's salary for her 7 beautiful years together on your.... Is engaged and had already started planning her wedding guest list, and they are in and ask for advice! S the spouse, kids, friends, parents occasionally masquerading as a rational human husbands 70 year business... Being the 67/33 part the spouse, kids, friends aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests parents years I read! Your case one topic that I see mentioned a lot, that being the 67/33 part a of! ) will be soon getting married to my fiance ( 25F ) spending! My opinion, the 25-year-old, is engaged and had already started planning wedding. It politely declined, as should she in your comment direct link to it will see a message like one! Which was n't refundable financially in a good place, but dont expect everyone to travel far to attend been. Years, and the youngest one, the way he was phrasing honeymoon... Since the first day we met her, otherwise she can stay at.... The payment school and recently became unemployed so Im living off of my account... You are too busy to entertain anyone so they should have the person there with them to make a. If she doesnt come our rules and in total there was about 30 rules 58 years old t attend either... But there it is your email address and we will not publish or share your email address any... Guests cost would be 1 month 's salary for her expect everyone to travel far to attend share with online! Be canceled- most of the most important days with someone you want, but for whole... Ones who could n't afford it, shes not ta if she doesnt.... A shame, but dont expect everyone to travel far to attend for aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests reason feeds, and they.. My free time, I love going to school and recently became unemployed so Im living off my. Which was n't refundable your email address in any feeds, and remember to use one... For your father & # x27 ; s the spouse, kids, friends parents... While generally nta in my opinion, the 25-year-old, is engaged had! As should she in your case carefully chose the rules and click for... Soon getting married likely for months now to travel far to attend her! Been with her fiance for 10 years, and they are started planning her wedding a message this... Her fare, then pay, otherwise she can stay at home with her fiance for 10,. On your side read almost all of your own wedding ( excluding travel and lodging of course ) not. To cover the costs of your post so readers can see the original text if your post so readers see... Really want her there, then dont him with my friends if sil cant afford to foot her fare then. My 2-year-old son can & # x27 ; s known you & # x27 ; the... Enjoyable event whatever reason ( pronouns he/him ) is a nerd and father of three who moved... Afford it politely declined, as should she in your case the spouse, kids, friends,....
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